Do you really think I’d let you travel in the hold? I offered you my private jet, for heaven’s sake. I find the thought of instilling fear in you abhorrent. For such a bright, witty, beautiful young woman, you have some real self-esteem issues, and I have half a mind to make an appointment for you with Dr. Or simply know that I would not, could not ever think of you in the way you described, and I’m angry that’s how you perceive yourself. Call it redistribution of wealth, if you will. I could buy you your heart’s desire, Anastasia, and I want to. I work exceptionally hard so I can spend my money as I see fit. I’d like you to have the best of everything. I don’t know what I can say or do to eradicate these feelings. I know that’s not what you’ve written, but it’s what you imply.
#Fifty shades of grey 4 how to#
I don’t know how to answer your comment about feeling like a whore. Isn’t that what boyfriends do? As your Dom, I would expect you to accept whatever I spend on you with no argument.
Why shouldn’t I spend money on you? We’ve told your father I’m your boyfriend, for heaven’s sake. Why can’t you do that when we’re together? I am annoyed that as soon as you put some distance between us, you communicate openly and honestly with me. I’m on a mission.Īt my desk I fire up my iMac and compose my response to Ana. Gail is in the kitchen when I walk through on the way to my study. Scares me so much that I push myself harder, so that all I feel is the pain of exertion in my legs and in my chest and the cold sweat that trickles down my back.īACK IN MY APARTMENT I have a quick shower and shave, and then I dress. That unfamiliar feeling surfaces in my chest as my lungs burn for air. It isn’t her fear, it’s that she’s terrified of the depth of feeling she has for me. I take a slower jog around the park to think about what disturbs me most about her e-mail. If she’s going to do what I want her to do, I’m going to have to reassure her and give her “more.” What that might be…I don’t yet know. Punish her when she colors outside the lines…yeah, it might hurt, but not beyond anything she can take. I only have to look at Elliot and his alarmingly casual approach to dating to see the difference.Īnd I’d never hurt her physically or emotionally-how can she think that? I just want to push her limits, see what she will and won’t do. It is a dark path I’m leading her down, but one that is far more intimate than any vanilla relationship-or so I’ve seen. She dazzles me in a way that I’ve never experienced, yet she’s flown across the country to get away from me. But boy, has she got that the wrong way around. She wouldn’t take that offer.Īt least she doesn’t want me for my money. I’m reminded of our conversation yesterday about the GEH jet. Why does she do this to herself? I’m rich, so what? She just needs to get used to that. I sprint once more around the park, my anger spurring me on. I take my usual route up Stewart to Westlake Avenue then around Denny Park a few times, Four Tet’s “She Just Likes to Fight” ringing in my ears. I place my phone on my bedside, and decide I need that run, to clear my head so I can think about my response.
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